Take Me to Where It's Sunny
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
Wrap me up
In your arms
And take me to
Where it’s warm
Where it’s warm and it’s sunny
And there ain’t no rain
And nobody’s feeling no pain
Let me in
To your heart
So I won’t ever
Be apart
Of where it’s warm and it’s sunny
And there ain’t no rain
And nobody’s feeling no pain
Take me in
To your trust
‘cause I know
There it’s just
So warm and it’s sunny
And there ain’t no rain
And nobody’s feeling no pain
Tarantula
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I met a woman down in Mexico
Sweet as sugar with a heart made of stone
We drank tequila by the light of the moon
I didn't know that she would be my ruin
She said she knew about the voodoo ways
And could make me love her till the end of my days
She lit a candle then she took my hand
And in the street I heard the mariachi band
She tried to say she was the last of her kind
She started to change I nearly lost my mind
When she said that I’d be her honeybee
I realized she had put a spell on me
I looked around and my eyes grew wider then
I realized I was inside her spider den
Caught in her web I never had a chance
When she did her tarantula dance
You say its too fantastic that it cannot be true
But I say that can happen and it can happen to you
One minute you'll be thinking that everything's fine
The next thing you know well you're there with your heart on the line
There she goes
There in the moonlight
Under the stars
Tarantula
Throughout the night I heard her call my name
Me like the moth drawn to the falme
Me in her spell with her magic ways
She made the minutes stretch into days
Me with her there and her lips on mine
I felt our bodies then our souls entwine
I tried to run but I never had a chance
When she did her tarantula dance
When I awoke she had slipped away
I haven't seen her since that day
And now I search every where I go
For that young woman from down in Mexico
I hear stories and the tales they tell
Of a girl who breaks hearts with magic spells
They say she uses potions and evil chants
But I know it's just her tarantula dance
Teeth
words & music by Bob Schneider
My teeth feel so clean
They gleam like the sun
They feel like sparkly boney little
Bullets loaded in a gun
My teeth feel so clean
Like rocks inside my bed
They're rubbery little diamonds
That fall right out my head
My teeth feel so clean
I brush 'em till I bleed
I mash them into shiny
Cauliflower seeds
My teeth feel so clean
I stumble on my smile
I dry 'em on your skin
Then I stack 'em in a pile
My teeth feel so clean
They're ready to explode
They're all up for adoption
They'll drive you off the road
My teeth feel so clean
All shoved into my face
Whether I’m angry or in love
You know they're never out of place
My teeth feel so clean
They always win the race
I sit 'em side my kidney stones
They've got a pleasant taste
My teeth feel so clean
The picture of good health
My teeth feel so clean
Makes me wanna kill myself
Temporary Tattoo
©1997 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I don't want to be your temporary tattoo
I don't want to be that guy that you once knew
I just want you to want me the
Way that I want you
I don't want to be no passing phase
I don't want to be no good old days
I just want to be your Mr. right now
All the time
I don't want to be no yesterday’s news
I don't want to be the blues you can’t lose
I don't want to be no rocks in your shoes
I just want to be the one that you choose
I don't want to be no Mr. in-between
I don't want to be some kinda bad scene
I just want you to want me the
Way that I want you
Texas Isn’t Big Enough
lyrics by Bob Schneider / music by Bob Schneider, Adam Temple & David Boyle
Without your love I might move to Oklahoma
Without your love I might pack my bags and go
Without your love I might as well be living in a coma
Without your love I might move to Oklahoma
Texas isn’t big enough for both of us
Without your love
It just isn’t much
Texas isn’t big enough for both of us you see
Without your love
It’s not big enough for me
Without your love I might move to New York City
Without your love I might take my chances there
Without your love the lone star state just wouldn’t seem as pretty
Without your love I might move to New York City
Texas isn’t big enough for both of us
Without your love
It just isn’t much
Texas isn’t big enough for both of us you see
Without your love
It’s not big enough for me
Without your love I might head across the border
Without your love I might I might find some comfort there
Without your love Tecate and tequila would help sort of
Without your love I might head across the border
Texas isn’t big enough for both of us
Without your love
It just isn’t much
Texas isn’t big enough for both of us you see
Without your love
It’s not big enough for me
They Came From Oklahoma
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
They came from Oklahoma
They said the end of the world
Was on its way, in a Chevy nova
They came from Oklahoma
They said the end of the world
Was on its way, in a Chevy nova
They tied everyone to their chairs
Then danced the gravy train
They sawed off all their shotguns
Shot the kettle drum and drank iced tea
From a monkey’s butthole
They sawed off all their shotguns
Shot the kettle drum and drank iced tea
From a monkey’s butthole
They bit their fingers off in a frenzy
Then danced the gravy train
Their leader was an ostrich
Dressed up to look just like
A lincoln log in a cardigan sweater
Their leader was an ostrich
Dressed up to look just like
A lincoln log in a cardigan sweater
They made thirty million in small change
Then ate it all and exploded
They came from Oklahoma
They said the end of the world
Was on its way, in a Chevy nova
They came from Oklahoma
They said the end of the world
Was on its way, in a Chevy nova
They feared the wrath of the lord
So they danced the gravy train
Thousand Pound Crown
©2000 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
She’s nice and naughty and she gets around
And the maggots and the moths never slow her down
And her toothless grin never comes unwound
And she’s swimming through the ashes
In her thousand pound crown
Oh there was Danny back in 82
He beat her black and he beat her blue
He’d do the things she knew he’d do
But he got himself a little poison stew
She’s hardly crazy and she gets around
And the ghosts from the grave never bring her down
And her big yellow heart never makes a sound
And she’s swimming through the night
In her thousand pound crown
There was Bart Govino that drunken prick
He loved young boys and he made her sick
He drank just like a lunatic
And a little bullet seemed to do the trick
There’s a thousand pink diamonds laying all around
And the voices in her head are sweet chocolatey brown
And she’s a broken little bird who can’t get off the ground
As she swims through the streets
In her thousand pound crown
Time To Go
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
When the kegs been floated
And the sun comes out
When you want to say I love you
But fuck ya’s all that comes out
When the police car pulls up outside your window
It’s time to go
It’s time to go
It’s time to go
When the food’s been eaten
And you haven’t got a dime
When the rents past due
For the fourth and final time
When your girlfriend’s husband’s drilling bullets through the door
It’s time to go
It’s time to go
It’s time to go
It’s time to go
When the bouncer says, ”I have to break your bones.”
It’s time to go
When your girlfriend’s dick is bigger than your own
It’s time to go
When you realize you’ve just coughed up your spleen
And the tequila you’ve been drinking tastes like the bartender’s urine
When you fart and check your underwear
And find a big surprise
When the guy in line in front yells,
“No one moves and no one dies!”
When the band starts playing free bird
And your penis starts to glow
It’s time to go
It’s time to go
It’s time to go
I went where all the girls are beautiful
Golden hair and radiant smiles
And cocaine high oblivion to pain
It made me feel so damn inadequate
And insane for the feel good feeling
High inside their helium trancemade vapor
Feeling grim and grimy
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
To where I wanna be today
But lonely ain't a word with me
Absurd you see in crowded rooms
That's where it hits me
Splits me right in half and out spills the emptiness
And no one wants to talk with someone
Cut in two and blue acting werewolf crazy
And hairdooed and out of control
Would you like some company
No thanks I’ve had my fill today
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
I wanna ride this party off into the sunset I
T's a mystery to me to see this girl over here
With the beer and the queer and the look
So debonair and she don't care
About this looking so good feeling so fine
Motherfucker that I be cold chilling in the place
Taste yes I’ve got it plenty any more and I’d be dinty moore
And dental damns and Irish ham and rocket jam I
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
I don my fake fur feather boa lust like Noah
Tiger skin fucking mackin the clones ain't got no style
Wait a while and you can turn on the dial
And see my face with cuties gettin so much booty I
T's my duty to rock this fucker like Stan getz
Get your paws off my cigarettes
I smoke sherman you german looking vermin
You're squirmin now
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Tralilalilu
lyrics by Bob Schneider
Trali lali la
Trali lali lali laliu
Nickle nickle play my pickle
You can ride my motorsickle too
Coca coca cola
I love you motorola when you shroom
Trali lali la
Trali lali lali lali
Snails is all goopy
My dog's name is snoopy
My girlfriend she left me
And that is o.k.
But I wish I was a tree
I'd know exactly what to say
Frog's are all spooky
And I don't know dookie
The world is so kooky
And scary to me
I wish I was a tree
Then I’d know exactly just who I should be
Tree just do their thing
They like to dress up in the spring
Trees just do their thing
When the wind blows they sing
Trees they don't worry
They're never in a hurry
Trees know know what not to say
And they chill in the sun all day
Lizard's is lazy
My girlfriend is crazy
About my best friend now
But hey it's o.k.
I wish I was a tree
Then I’d know exactly what to say
Tricky
©1992 shockorama music pub. / melody & lyrics by Bob Schneider
Down in the zombie town people running all around
Blind as bats can be the truth they cannot see
Keep them blinders on raise the young ones big and strong
And when the day is through not much we can do
Its getting tricky just to see the light
And it's tricky telling wrong from right
Its getting trickier as time goes by
Its getting tricky to carry the load
And it's tricky not to explode
It gets trickier as time goes by
Rain is falling from the sky on this sunny sunny sunny night
Brother can you tell me why right is wrong wrong is right tell me why
Shouldn't be this way again will this problem never end
Will this madness ever cease we need to learn to love
Then they'll be peace
Day in the sun
And I have seen the monster men time and time and time again
They look like me and you and this ain't nothing new
You can't stop the sea they say the tide of change must have its way
One day the tide will turn and maybe then we'll learn
(chorus)
Now brother tell me why
The rain keep falling from the sky
Oh tell me now will we ever see the sun
There's got to be some way we can live as one
Trippin My Mind
©1998 Shockorama music pub. / music and lyrics by Bob Schneider
I took a trip in my mind I turned water into wine in the sunshine
I took a trip far away from the troubles of this maniac day
Oh I breathed in the air and I swear I didn't care about tomorrow
It was good it was better than good it's where I wanted to stay
And if you know what I’m saying I’m saying I just don't know a damn thing
And I think that one day that that's what I will truly believe
Till then I go alone like I do everyday in my own special way
Taking this life that I lead way to seriously
I took a trip in my mind I turned water into wine in the sunshine
I took a trip far away from the trouble's of this maniac day
Oh I breathed in the air and I swear I didn't care about tomorrow
It was good it was better than good it's where I wanted to stay
And if you know what I’m saying I’m saying I just don't know the answer
And I think that one day that that's what I will truly believe
Till then I go alone like I do everyday in my own special way
Taking this life that I lead way to seriously
Tumblin Dice
©1999 shockorama music pub.
We roll through this life
Just like tumblin dice
Two of a kind don't take nobody's advice
Just let the chips fall where they may
Ain't gonna worry bout no yesterday
We roll through the night
Feelin allright
We know we got each other
When things get tight
We're friends till the end and
We don't give a damn
When we fall down we roll round
Pick ourselves up again
We roll through this life
Just like tumblin dice
Two of a kind don't take nobody's advice
Just let the chips fall where they may
Ain't gonna worry bout no yesterday
Through thick and thin
We always stick together
We don't give a damn
About no rainy weather
Seven come eleven
Says we'll all get to heaven
So if it's snakeeyes don't be surprised
They'll be sunny skies when the rain dries
We roll through this life
Just like tumblin dice
Two of a kind don't take nobody's advice
Just let the chips fall where they may
Cause we're headed
For a sunny day
Turning Over
lyrics by Bob Schneider
There’s a dragon in my bed
Breathing on my head
With its fiery breath
It’s scaring me to death
But
I’m turning over
I’m turning over
I’m turning over
A new leaf
I’m going heavy on the sauce
Don’t give a damn about the cost
Don’t mind sleeping with the boss
In the land of the lost
But
I’m turning over
I’m turning over
I’m turning over
A new leaf
Come and cut me down to size
‘cause everything that I despise
I can see in my own eyes
I’ll come until I vaporize
But
I’m turning over
I’m turning over
I’m turning over
A new leaf
Feel like Frankenstein
Really need to unwind
How’d I get in such a bind
I guess it might have been the wine
T'uela Me La Pela
lyrics by Bob Schneider / music by The Scabs & Bob Schneider
Now on the runway in la
The girls be catching vapors and its strictly hey hey
And I say hey hey and they say who you
And I say that I’m the man they callin mrs. Doodoo
And they say why's that and I say well cause
Cause all the good good loving mrs. Doodoo does
And they say bullshit and I say check my creds
And when you're done checking I’ll be all tucked into beds
With your girlfriend so what you think about that
And they say damnit Mrs. Doodoo how come you so whack
I say it's easy for a man like me
To give a girl a little extra TLC
And they say ah ha and I say oomh mhoo
And they say later Mrs. doodoo and I say later to you too
And while I’m saying that you can check with this
And here's a little something for you that you don't wanna miss
You say whatever like you're so clever
Well honey that and a dollar'll get you nowhere never
Damn that's heavy check my chevy
I'm strictly big boot banging baby down on the levy
I'm like mambo when I jamma
I'm like the hulk strictly radiating heavy duty gamma
Radiation cross the nation
Oh I can see you can't relate you’re strictly into masturbation
Work part time at the Guggenheim
I write the whack pack rhymes then its miller time
Chilly chillin like Mathew Dillon
Swillin ampicillin and killin all the villians in my urine
I'm from Port Huron I’ve got my cure on
Hanging out in Charlottesville with Mr. Clive Van Buron
Eaten Actifed to get up in my acid head
You probably suck so much cock cause you were bottle fed
Yeah its a pity and kind of shitty
Being the head of the itty bitty titty committee
Yo I’m nondescript slightly pussy whipped
Undertipped I’m not but well equipped I am so
Baby the tips the good stuff no this ain't no kid's bluff
You got to eat your wheaties up so you can hang and hang tough
Kid just pull your pants up yeah you little cricket
Check the weiz we call the snizz and watch him get wicked
This ain't no small cock jam rock like woodstock
No babe its the booty shakin dancefloor breaking bomb rock
Yeah you little cow chip you just might need a pink slip
Give your self a fat lip eating all that bean dip
We get the booty shaking hearts we be breaking
Taking it to the limit gimmie that hash brownie your baking
We got that groovy movie do it to me Suzie beat
Busting out the club like it was fucking easy street
You know its easy for the kid and its easy for my crew
To make up a jam so funky it'd make the wutang drool
Not that we're better than the rest its just that we're badder
Than the best we are the Scabs the fucking finger rocking freeform freak fest yes