Ocho
©1997 Shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I knew a girl named ocho she lived on a farm outside of Nebraska
She had five big brothers and a sister named Bethlehem
She used to sell enchiladas from the back of her daddy's pickup truck each day
I used to drive by and see her when ever I was out that way
I'd sing ocho that's my favorite Mexican number
It just sounds so good and it rolls right off your tongue
And if you’re up at night and feeling a little lonely
Ocho is the sweetest song you ever sung
Now ocho's mama had five boys with her daddy in a right row
When all they really wanted was a little girl
Well when her sister was born her parents went crazy and they called her Bethlehem
Cause they swore she was an angel that the lord had given them
Now when ocho was born her daddy'd he'd been out drinking
When he got home that night and found himself another girl
He got so excited he forgot he was wasted and he said hey honey ain't this great
We got us seven little babies so why don't we just call her eight
Now uno dos tres quatro cinco siez and siete well they're just fine
But ocho does it for me everytime
Oklahoma
©1995 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
She came from Oklahoma
She said the end of the world
Was on its way in a Chevy nova
She came from Oklahoma
She said the end of the world
Was on its way in a Chevy nova
Her smile was just a shadow
That trembled in the sun
And turned to stone as she grew older
Her smile was just a shadow
That trembled in the sun
And turned to stone as she grew older
She bought an El Camino
And a pocket full of pills she called her
And swore she's found salvation
But the hand grenades inside her
Where ready to explode
And the pins were pulled long ago
By sweet temptation
She found herself in New Orleans
With carnival of tears upon her veins
In the arms of strangers
When the lies where not enough
To hold back all the years of pain
She'd lie inside the danger and cry
You can tie me to the ground but not today
I need me one more chance to fly away
And tonight I’m gonna fly away
Ooey Gooey Chocolate
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
You're ooey gooey chocolate
A sweet and sticky dream
Your kisses taste like sunny skies
Your lips they make me scream
You’re dreamy steamy summer nights
And twilight time in spring
You’re lovely little lullabies
You make the angels sing
You’re apple pie and coconuts
And cherry tangerines
And everything that’s wonderful
Your lips they make me scream
You’re ooey gooey chocolate
And twilight time in spring
Your kisses taste like sunny skies
You make the angels sing
Orlando
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I was sitting naked in a holiday inn down in Orlando
And it was the morning of the last day of the year
I didn't know who I was and I thought I might’ve been Evan Dando
But if I was him than what the hell was I doing here
So I asked myself one simple question
What would I do with the rest of my life
If I knew I couldn’t fail I guess I'd get the hell
Out of Orlando and find me a rich and beautiful wife
Cause I don’t want to do a damn thing
And I want to be appreciated
And I want to get paid well
And I don’t want to be hated
I don’t want to do a damn thing except lie in the sun
And be loved loved loved loved loved by everyone
So I called up the front desk to see if I could rent a porno
They said you better have a credit card I said honey I’m pretty hard up
But I ain’t got no visa I said honey could you please uh help me
She said she was sorry but I think she was just disgusted
And I was kinda disgusted myself cause it had all come down to this
And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it gets lonely
When you’re sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybird
Down in Orlando in the middle of the night
So I called up an old friend to see how he was doing
But he sounded like a robot and it was like I barely knew him
So I said I had to go then I couldn’t take it any longer
You know the desire to throw my naked body out the fifth floor of the Holiday Inn kept getting stronger
I tried to take a cold shower but I couldn’t get my nerve up
I just sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own hair
That was the worst idea that I had all day
But goddamn it gets lonely down in f.l.o.r.i.d.a.
Then I thought to myself just what the hell was a jaybird
And just what the hell does it look like and what the hell am I doing
So I tried to write a song about it but this is all I got
You know I sang it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part about killing myself and the part about trying to find a rich wife
She said you should have gone to sea world you might have had a better time
I said honey thanks for the input thanks for the advice
But I think that the only way I’m ever going back to Orlando is if I live life twice
Cause I don’t want to do a damn thing
And I want to be appreciated
And I want to get paid well
And I don’t want to be hated
I don’t want to do a damn thing except lie in the sun
And be loved loved loved loved loved by everyone
The Other Side
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & Lyrics by Bob Schneider
I have reason to believe
the grass might be a little greener
on the other side
I have reason to believe
that if I turned myself inside out
I might get out alive
and I have reason to believe
that if you get it right just once
you would be satisfied
I have reason to believe
the grass might be a little greener
on the other side
I have reason to believe
that everything you do or say
well it is just a dream
and I have reason to believe
that this electric midnight feelings
filled with razor beams
I have reason to believe
that if I could just be all that you want
that I’d have some place I could hide
I have reason to believe
the grass might be a little greener
on the other side
I have reason to believe
that if I were just a little taller
I'd be better off
I have reason to believe
That if my head came with a switch
Why I would turn it off
I have reason to believe
That everything that I have learned
Is all just a goddamn lie
I have reason to believe
the grass might be a little greener
on the other side