Madeline 
Make It All Go Away 
The Man From Outer Space 
Man of the Year 
Master of the Unknown Universe 
Masters of Infiltration 
Mein swanz der ist so gross 
Menage e Twa 
Metal & Steel 
Merrysville Cemetery 
Miracle Days 
Monster 
Montana 
Moon Song 
Mr. Happy 
Mr. Hyde 
Mr. Invisible 
Mr. Swingle 
Mr. X 
Mrs. Serious Business 
My Pussy Hurts Real Bad 
Mystery Bus 
Mystery Date 
 
 

Madeline
©1999 Shockorama music pub. / lobby stars music
melody & lyrics by Bob Schneider / chords by David Boyle

I've been out
On my own for so long
I can feel the cold wind
Wearing me down
I'm blowin away
And lightning strikes me
There's a whole lot of craziness
In this town
Shadowrealm
Inside this head of mine
It's getting scarier 
And harder with time
Met a lover
Put my money on the long shot
Came out smelling like a dog
And not feeling so hot

I'll take anything that you've got
Anything you've got
Madeline
Madeline
Just save me from myself

Gas station prophet
Kept giving me the sign
Saying tell it like it is
Lay it on the line
This simple life
Holds no reason
You play the game
And turn the dial

Alligator shoes
Tarantula breath
It looked good on paper (in the darkness)
Now it's scaring me to death
I'm all wrung out
And nowhere to go
Feel like a second string
Romeo

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Make It All Go Away
by Bob Schneider

I don't know it
It's not my song
That's not me
You've got it all wrong

I ain't krishnamurti
I wanna throw up
All my head does
Is try to show up

You can't say that
That's not the right thing to say
Just stop it right now
And make it all go away

It all makes sense to me
The pizza had ants
When the songs on your lips
Will you give me a chance

Come over here
Lay that thing down
It's been a long day
Let's roll around

My eyes might be sleepy
My mind weighs a ton
Roll over darling
Let's have some fun

In your hot stare
I've nothing to say
Sweet arm me honey
Make it all go away

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The Man From Outer Space
©1997 shockorama music pub.

Shirley Jones was giving me the bug eye
Her eyes were bugging out of her big ole head
Shirley Jones was pretty as a magpie
I took her out to dinner then I took her to bed

Patty Joe Purrina was an evil little woman
The kind that couldn't let a little rumor out of her sight
You see Shirley Jones was a married woman
And in Appleberry Georgia that just ain't right

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken

Well big Jim McCarthy Jones was sure some evil sumbitch
He drove a Peterbuilt 84 with a 20 ton hitch
They said he'd killed a man in Macon but he never went to jail
Cause they never found the body just a finger in the mail

Well I guess Patty Joe Purrina saw us at the lamplighter inn
While she was at cozy's liquor emporium buying bourbon and gin
It took her about a second for her to do what she had to do
She called up ole big Jim and told him everything she knew

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken

Well now big Jim went and took his shotgun down
With every intention of putting me Shirley Jones six feet underground
But when I heard his pickup truck pull up into that lot
Me and Shirley Jones headed out the back like a shot

Jumped in my Chrysler headed down chestnut lane
Looked in my rearview and what I saw there was hard to explain
Thought it was the devil come to take me to hell
But it was big Jim leaning out his window firing off shotgun shells

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken

Crashed into the northpike mall made a wrong rendezvous
Knew this was it I didn't know what to do
That's when Sheriff Gemsbok showed up on the scene
Me and Shirley Jones thanked the sheriff and got away clean

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken

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Man of the Year
lyrics by Bob Schneider

Holy macaroni and the stutter jive king
Used to run Chicago doing the gangster thing
They'd keep that Smith and Wesson in the pocket of their pants
And it weren't nobody's business if the kid don't dance

Now back then living in the hot seat it was furtive fast and fun
You'd better save up all your bullets cause everybody had a gun
You hardly had to use it but you never really knew
What the other guy around the corner was gonna do

Now holy macaroni'd hang out at the crazy horse
He'd keep a buck knife in the freezer for emergencies of course
He'd say you'd better drink 'em now boys 'fore they throw you in the slammer
And keep an eye out for your baby cause she's about to pull the hammer

Oooh boys there they go crazy legs and all
Better watch yourself cause the sky's about to fall
And when you get done running you can come back here
I'll be back in Charlottesville I'll be the man of the year

The stutter jive got twenty but macaroni never talked
And Mary shot her husband but she paid the man and walked
And somehow we all seemed to make it through without a scratch
And if that seems too good to be true well there's probably a catch

Well I was swinging on the eddison and making out with sue
And I was hanging out with studs and roman shepeard and the crew
Well bullets started flying and everybody hit the floor
And now the last thing I remember is coppers flying through the door

Well sally sue she bought it but everybody's gotta go
So I figured it be best if I skipped down to Mexico
Tequila and terazas and them mariachi bands
And three months in san pellegrino and we're off again

Heard about a bank job from this cat named lenny bones
Three mill in the bag a five way split and we were home
So I figured what the hell you gotta go with what you get
But only me and lenny made it back but brother we were set

Now the holy macaroni was a million dollar flake
Ended up in folsom but the file was in the cake
Me an angel we've been runnin ever since that day
Shouting viva la fiesta yo man that headed that a way

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Master of the Unknown Universe
©1994 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider

The master of the unknown universe sleeps all day
And faces all the consequences of all the things he ever says
The master of the unknown universe chokes on his smile
Stays a while and he never ever says goodbye to anyone in style

The master of the unknown universe makes a big mistake
Cause everything he takes is so ordinary
Once you start that way you'll have to stay
And so the story goes

The master of the unknown universe is a superstar
He's not to far from everything and where you are
He'll leaves it all behind for someone else to try

The master of the unknown universe comes sailing in
And then rides away and leaves you hanging on

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Masters of Infiltration
©1989 shockorama music pub. / melody & lyrics by Bob Schneider

We are the masters of infiltration 
Designing the sounds of a new generation
Assaulting your senses with a new sensation
Our only purpose is to rock the nation
With the help of drugs and fornication
We try to lead a little life of relaxation
Don't sit around the house flipping the stations
We assault the masses with our proclamation

We are the masters of infiltration
Our policy is to rock the nation

Fuck the government hail emancipation
Political leaders take a permanent vacation
Controlling peoples minds with manipulations
Covering up the facts with their stipulations
Tearing apart the constitution to make alterations
While they're clouding people's minds with mental masturbation
We need to stand up and start an operation
Think quick act now without hesitation

We are the masters of infiltration
Our policy is to rock the nation

Brothers comes together try to strengthen our relations
Find out what's the matter investigate the situation
What we need is determination
To stop this world from slow stagnation
What we don't need is procrastination
Cause that only leads down to aggravation
We ourselves will be the delegation
To reinforce this regeneration
And rid ourselves of this aberration
That has become our nation

We are the masters of infiltration
Our policy is to rock the nation

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Mein Swanz Der Ist So Gross
lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider

Mein swanz der ist so gross
So gross wie einem floss
Mein swanz der ist so gross
So gross wie einem floss
Mein swanz der ist so gross
So gross wie einem floss

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Menage e Twa
lyrics by Bob Schneider

Menage e twa u la la
My baby say the more the merrier
Menage e twa u oui oui
One and one make three
Oh she brought her roommate
Oh she brought her roommate
Oh she brought her roommate
To my room I didn't know what I should do
I was so nervous oh I was so nervous oh I was so nervous
Didn't know how I should handle
The situation that ensued
But then menage e twa oh yes yes
She said if you just relax
I think that would be for the best
She said menage e twa oh no no
I didn't know which way to turn
I didn't know which way to go
Oh she brought her roommate
Oh she brought her roommate
Oh she brought her roommate
To my room I didn't know what I should do
Oh it was so scary
It got a little hairy
I think I lost my cherry
But I'm really not that very
Sure of anything thing at all 
She said menage e twa
U la la
My baby said that the more the merrier
Menage e twa u ya ya
It looks good on paper
But its so much scarier
Oh she brought her roommate
Oh she brought her roommate
Oh she brought her roommate
To my room I didn't know what I should do
It was so exotic
And kinda like erotic
But now I think that I'm just a little to neurotic
For the menage e twa
U lala

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Metal & Steel
©1999 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & music by bob Schneider

I am metal I am steel
But I don't mind cause I can't feel a thing
I'm a diamond ring

I'm not flesh & I'm not bone
And I'm not sad & I'm not all alone
I'm a stone

The king is dead and the queen has flown
Left me here in the twilight zone
Lost & looking for a way to get back home
But there's no right & there's no wrong
So I'll be good & I'll be strong

I'll be silver & I'll be gold
Without a heart and without even a soul
I'll be coal
I won't be blood and teeth and skin
& I won't feel this pain I'm in
I'll be tin with no heart within

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Merrysville Cemetery
©1995 shockorama music pub. / melody & lyrics by Bob Schneider

Aggravating the sense of sight
Gargoyles stain this leathery night
There's a demon't heart in every stone
The worm grounds covered in goblin bones
A dead raven stares from a goat scull tree
In the middle of Merrysville cemetery

There's a wrinkled corpse under every mound
Their open mouths don't make a sound 
In the distance there's a skeleton bell
And a thousand souls fly up from hell
A dead raven stares from a goat scull tree
In the middles of Merrysville cemetery

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Miracle Days
©1993 shockorama music pub. / melody & lyrics by Bob Schneider

I've been waiting such a long time
It all seems like a dream
I've watched this world go crazy
All around me

So I keep on searching
Work my way through this maze
Hoping that I'll find
Me a miracle day

Waiting for a miracle day
Waiting for a miracle day

This world is an island
And we're all castaways
Waiting for the ship to roll in
Bring us our miracle day

Waiting for a miracle day
Waiting for a miracle day

It's gonna take a miracle
It's gonna take a miracle
It's gonna take a miracle

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Monster
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider

My life's turning into a monster
Mary doesn't seem to care
She's got things to do people to see
She's gotta be here and then she's gotta be there

& my life's turning into a monster
And Mary doesn't understand
She reads the bible every morning
She's making dinner every night
She's taking scalding hot bubble baths by candlelight

& my life's turning into a monster
A little more everyday
You better run run baby
Run run baby baby you better run away

My life's turning into a monster
And Mary's got incredible hair
She's got a skinny little job
But here daddy run's the mob
She got a vericose smile that'll make you sob

& my life's turning into a monster
A little more everyday
He's got big greasy fangs
He's got angular bangs
He's got electrifying death defying hunger pangs

& my life's turning into a monster
& Mary's been elected to rule
She's got a superspace conductor
Flavored micro self destructor
She's got a whole lot of bullets she's an aerobics instructor

& my life's turning into a monster
A little more everyday
You better run run baby 
Run run baby baby
You better run you better get the hell out of his way

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Montana
lyrics and music by Bob Schneider

If I were a tree standing silent in the forest
Or a star shining softly in the night
If I were an old fencepost by the road in old Montana
Or if I was a watercolor cloud painted on a sanguine sky

Would you stop and say there is the one who loves me
There is the one who'll always know my name
Or would you pass me by and never wonder why
You only hear the thunder not the words I love you whispering in the rain

If I were an old man playing songs on my piano
Just an old man hopin that one day my name might shine in lights
In a motel by the side of the road in old Montana
Just an old man wondering how your love had passed me by

Would you stop and say there's the one who loves me
There's the one who'll always know my name
Or would you pass me by and never wonder why
You only hear the thunder not the words I love you whispering in the rain

If I were a song that you heard while you were driving
Just an old familiar song that you heard while you were driving through the night
On an old and lonely road somewhere in Montana
Oh while the lightning worked its way across the sky

Would you stop and say there's the one who loves me
There's the one who'll always know my name
Or would you pass me by and never wonder why
You only hear the thunder not the words I love you whispering in the rain

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Moon Song
©1998 Shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider

I like the sun
When it shines
On the moon 
At night

I like the way
That you smile
When you feel 
Just right

La la la la 

I like the wind
When it blows
You close
To me

I like the way 
That you hold
Me the way
You do

La la la la

I like the way 
That you say
You'll always
Stay

I like the sun
When it shines
On the moon
This way

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Mr. Happy
©1991 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider

I know a man they call Mr. Happy
He's always smilin there's nobody laughing
Living in a world where there ain't no pain
Living in a world where there ain't no pain
Everybody wants to be like Mr. Happy
Cause everybody wants to feel allright

Cause when you get to the end of the line
You might find the answers that you're looking for
The answers that you get are the ones that you can't forget
Cause the past is set in stone
Or you can live in a hole lose your mind lose your soul
And forever lock the door
I gotta tell you what I'm lookin for

Ain't nobody right ain't nobody wrong
Mr. Happy keep smilin all night long
Trouble outta mind is outta sight
Everybody wants to be Mr. happy tonight

Everybody wants to be Mr. happy 
Cause everybody wants to be all right

Throw yourself into the sea of desire
Set your weary soul on fire
You know you can be living in a world where there ain't no pain
Living in a world where there ain't no pain
Everybody wants to be like Mr. Happy
Cause everybody wants to feel allright

Cause when you get to the end of the line
You might find the answers that you're looking for
The answers that you get are the ones that you can't forget
Cause the past is set in stone
Or you can live in a hole lose your mind lose your soul
And forever lock the door
I gotta tell you what I'm lookin for

Ain't nobody right ain't nobody wrong
Mr. Happy keep smilin all night long
Trouble outta mind is outta sight
Everybody wants to be Mr. Happy tonight

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Mr. Hyde
©1990 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider

Introductions were made at the age of fifteen
By a suicidal prophet in a halcyon limousine
Fueled by the agents that help us slow down the ride
I'll took a shotgun position across from Mr. Hyde

Cooling out in the bloodshot blaze of the summer sun
Out to give this life a chance and have me a little fun
Whoever told the truth they told the truth when they lied
When you're a walking approximation of Mr. Hyde

Now I'm rolling through town in that self same limousine
With a couple of coked up beauties that I ain't never seen
Oh I feel like I'm on a roll 
Hyde's doing the talking and I'm outta control

Rice paper walking my way to the top of the pile
In a see through world full of cellophane smiles
And what I have learned in ten thousand days
There's no way out of this fucking maze

And life is much harder than I thought it would be
Than when I first heard it explained to me
When the questions were all simple and all cut and dried
And they're weren't no talking about ole Mr. Hyde

Cause now they wanna come into my house cut off my hair
Tell me what to do and tell me what to wear
Come up to me and say they'll fill my needs
And then watch me bleed

And so I'm getting sick and tired of the whole damn system
Line the greedy motherfuckers up and then I'll cold fist 'em
Fueled by the agents that help us slow down the ride
I'll take a shotgun position till the day I die

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Mr. Invisible
lyrics by Bob Schneider

He's painted in the corner
He's walking through a dream 
His lips don't move a muscle
But every time he screams
His hands aren't covered in blood
His clothes they do not shine
And everyone agrees
He must be left behind

And though you cannot see him
He's right before your eyes
He's dancing through your castle
He sees right through your lies
And everytime he screams
His hands aren't covered in blood
His clothes they do not shine
His words are mixed with mud
But everyone agrees 
And everyone is blind
But everyone agrees 
He must be left behind

The angels do not notice
The snake does not pursue
When you look in the mirror
He looks a lot like you
And everytime he screams 
His hands aren't covered in blood
His clothes they do not shine
His words are mixed with mud
And everyone agrees
And everyone is high
And everyone agrees
He must be left behind

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Mr. Swingle
by Bob Schneider

Mr. Swingle started a mutant farm in Ohio back in June
He said, "I ain't the barnacle of love, but then I never dug the moon.
I ain't as handsome as I'd like but then I'm not really that bad."
He traded the rollerblades for the couch and locked himself in his pad.

And there's no one that alone
There's no one that's more blue
There's no one quite as miserable as me or you

No there's no one that's more desperate
There's no one who's more sad
No there's no one in this world that's ever felt this bad

I'm gonna go riding on the moon
And I won't be coming back anytime soon
I'm gonna go flying through the sky
And I won't be coming back down until the day I die

Mr. Swingle got a golf course sweatshop angle kind of game going
And made his self a million over there in Europe showing
Every fat cat crazy banker bro and sucker side of Texas
To part quickly with their hard earned affording him many colored Lexus

Mr. Swingle stole the sun from out under old mighty Zeus
And didn't hesitate to rock the orpheum crowd their of their juice
In his little heart he felt a painful sighing he'd ignore
But everyday got quite a little worse for wear then one before

Mr. Swingle had it all one day he knew it then and there
There was nothing left to steal or borrow nothing left to share
And he felt like going crazy and he left his hat right on
As that shotgun took him to valhalla on that fine tooth morn

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Mr. X
©1991 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider

This is the story of a man
This is the story of a mysterious man
This is the story of love murder and sex
This is the story of the mysterious Mr. X

Walking down the street one day
What could I do and what could I say
When I saw him sitting in a corner
I knew he was a player and I knew he was a baller
With a uzi tucked down into his pocket
With a heart made of stone and a temper like a rocket
Yeah you never what you can expect
From the mysterious Mr. X

This is the story of a man
This is the story of a mysterious man
This is the story of love murder and sex
This is the story of the mysterious Mr. X

I know you hear the story bout Leroy brown
They say he was the baddest mother fucker around
They say the motherfucker was tough
But I say not fucking tough enough
Because he'll take out twenty homies with his hands
He's got powerful fingers something's wrong with his glands
And I never know what to expect
With the mysterious Mr. X

The mysterious Mr. X
So mysterious Mr. X

Walking down his block by the grocery store
Yeah I guess I couldn't find what I was looking for
When he walked on in through the out door
I heard a boom boom boom and the thunder of the room
Yeah I didn't know what to expect
From the mysterious x

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Mrs. Serious Business
©1998 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider

Cocaine & cracker jacks
Mad money by the stacks
Sleeping with the dogs
Mac daddy mob boss
Mr. Bad ass fuck the cost
Hiding out in the fog

Mrs. Sure shot hide away
Massive alien death ray
Mental mescal crossbones into the night
Stretched out & rock steady
Everybody in the like freddy
Phone taps on theys snowcones out o sight

Mrs. Serious business be sleepin on the wrong side of the law
(jam on girl)
This is serious business now don't you tell your mom & your pa
(you go girl)

High stakes and fake dice
Bad hair and worse advice
Puerto Rican drop top lounge chair ride
Bent kneed and toed down
Chin straight and throwed round
Cut loose and strangled and hangin on tight

Half crazed and shell shocked
Weak kneed and cock blocked
Ain't no crybaby tell me what you say'd
Brain gong all gone
Game over went wrong
Man you look awful you're gonna wind up dead

Ant farm snake charm
Gravy babe on my arm
Rat pack ankle bite bad news purple bruise
Spit shot and taped nut
And super spindel rot gut
Just cut loose and hang tight you got everything to lose

Knocked out and dragged in
Good tooth in the Vatican
Bad gin and triplesec and disco every night
Criminals & high rollers
Bags of dope in baby strollers
Fifty dollar tips and everybody's so uptight

Finer than frog's hair
Wild as a nightmare
Heart as big as the rainbow sun
Moon in her pocket
Got all the stars in her rocket
Those were the days but now those days is done

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My Pussy Hurts Real Bad
©1998 shockorama music pub. / lyrics by Bob Schneider

When I was a boy
You know I used to say
You know I don't wanna 
Go to school today

And the excuse I used
To always tell my dad
Is my pussy hurts real bad

Oh my pussy hurts real bad
It sure ain't funny and it makes me mad
Cause its the best damn pussy that I ever had
But my pussy hurts real bad

My girlfriend
Wanted to do some fucking
And I would'a if I could'a
Cause she's so good looking

I said I had to pass
And she sure got mad
When I said my pussy hurts real bad

Now sometimes I think that my girlfriend
Might just be a lesbian
Cause when we're all alone at night
She makes my pussy feel just right

Now some people they might say
That they don't like a man to talk this way
If you're gonna talk about your dick then hey
Pussy's no good but vagina's o.k.

So my vagina hurts real bad...

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Mystery Bus
©1989 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider

Take a look around you tell me what do you see
May look familiar but it don't make much sense to me
Take a look around you tell what do you find
Lots of questions but the answers're harder to come by

And the world keeps turning
And the world keeps turning
And the world keeps turning round and round your head

Riding on a mystery bus
Life ain't nothing but a mystery

Got to get around got to get around 
Everybody got to get around
Got to get around got to get around 
Everybody got to get around

And the world keeps turning
And the world keeps turning
And the world keeps turning round and round your head

Riding on a mystery bus
Life ain't nothing but a mystery

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Mystery Date
lyrics by Bob Schneider

Mystery date
My mystery date
I don't know your name girl
But I know my semen is gone

Mystery date
Sweet mystery date
Can you run to the store
And buy me some gatorade

My mystery date
Sweet mystery date
Did we meet at the black cat
Or the coppertank
I'm sure I'll remember
But right now I'm drawing a blank

Mystery date
My mystery date
You know I love you but please
Take your stinky panties
And get out of my apartment
Don't ever ever teeth my penis
You wrinkled stinky genius

Mystery date
Sweet mystery date
I know it sounds lame
That I don't know your name
And you're not to blame
So don't be ashamed
(it's driving me insane)
My mystery date

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