Jagermeister Toast
by Bob Schneider
Uma Uma Thurman got the butt
Jimmy smoking crack but I don’t give a fuck
I could’ve had a v8 instead I had a forty
When your girlfriend’s on my dick
She always calls you shorty
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four
Fucked up, wasted, puking on the floor
I never wake up in the morning
Oh my god what have I done
That girl that I was fucking’s boyfriend's
Got a loaded gun
Hocus pocus I can’t even focus
But your girlfriends on my dick
Like a locust
So pass me the jager
I’ll put it in my cup
I’ll slam it jam it down
And do I want another?
Yup
So pass me the jager
I’ll put it in my cup
I’ll slam it jam it down
And do I want another?
Yup
Jangly Glass All in My Brain
lyrics by Bob Schneider
The slight blueberry scent
Slightly stained the steely thread
Of thought so thoroughly though
That though he knew not what he said
He said it though and thanked his head
For thinking such delirious visions
Decidedly dueling with indecision
Deadening deliverance with every decree
That he the g he be see me
& thee mon ami be free with glee
And now the rainbows in every breath
Takes and loves each stranger to death
And he's betting on a better day
Better than every one he's thrown away
He's got jangly glass all in his brain
And baby that's a good thing
Cause it makes him sing ding dang a lang dong ding
The manic misery mist
Made maliable by misdirection
Became bewilderingly blurred by blessed new
Beginnings and doomed deadbolt dilemmas
Dialed down through drowning duality
Signed separate sleepy sunrise suggestions
Surprising saliable syruptitious solutions
He's got jangly glass all in his brain
And baby that's a good thing
Cause it makes him sing ding dang a lang dong ding
Attesting to the terribly tantalizing turmoil
The rothko chorus clambers for attention
As starships implode into the fragments
Known as murder rays or things I haven't mentioned
And still seizing every second sent sizzling silently forever
Forward into tomorrow today becomes the very thing
Its always been & everything its been right from the start
He's got jangly glass all in his brain
And baby that's a good thing
Cause it makes him sing ding dang a lang dong ding
And the scented threads stained slightly steely
Blueberry tomorrows thanked and said he
Took his head dueling deliverance and deciding on delirium
Filled with fear he decreed he'd be aquarian
In fact sharing in his feelings he hailed a heart of helium
And headed straight to hell
Jingy
©1999 shockorama music pub.
I got a little monkey
His name is Jingy
His first name's Paulo
Middle name is Joe
I call him Paulo Joe Jingy
He's my little monkey
He crawls on my back
And makes himself at home
I got a little monkey
His name is Jingy
He's a pretty little monkey's
Got teeth like dimes
They shine like diamonds
There in the moonlight
They cool my skin
And cut me to the bone
I got a little monkey
His name is Jingy
I got him buried in the backyard
Underneath the onion tree
I can hear him scratching
I can hear him laughing
I can hear him coming on after me
Oh Jingy Jingy Jingy won't you let me sleep
But Jingy Jingy Jingy'll never let me be
John the Undertaker
©1995 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by bob Schneider
John the undertaker
Is taking out another
Smelly fellers body
Underneath the moon's mean stare
He don't care
John the undertaker
I taking out his pliers
Cause he knows they're liars
And they must be made to share
They won't care
There's another golden crown for his collection
There's another diamond ring that won't be buried with the bride
There's another silver watch for him to carry
There's another little treasure for him to cart off in the night
John the undertaker
Is taking out another
Smelly fellers body
Underneath the moon's mean stare
Moon mean stare
Juicy Juicy
©1994 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider & Adam Temple
Pittsburgh Pennsylvania
Juicy juicy
Forth Worth Texas
Sketchy sketchy
Boston Massachusetts
Juicy juicy
Tijuana Mexico
Sketchy sketchy
To get his party started right
We've got to get into the groove tonight
To get this party started correctly
We've got to get into groove directly
Jonz'n
©1992 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider
I fell bad I don't feel good
I fell bad I don't feel good
Baby what's been said or done
It's all part of the past
We've got to face the here and now
We've got to face facts
I got the jonz thing working (work, work)
I got the jonz thing happening (work, work)
I got the jonz thing working (work, work)
I got the jonz thing happening (work, work)
I'm jonz'n
Baby what we got to do
Is turn down all these lights
Come on and take me in your loving arms
Hug and hold me tight
I got the jonz thing working (work, work)
I got the jonz thing happening (work, work)
I got the jonz thing working (work, work)
I got the jonz thing happening (work, work)
I'm jonz'n
Shake down
Break down
Take down
Everybody lay down
Busload of losers on a Saturday night
Me and the posse just a feeling allright
Went to the party busted down the door
Man came up and said what'd you do that for
I said we heard about this party from a friend of a friend
And no we're not leaving till the motherfucker ends
So step back motherfucker and move to the side
Joe Rockhead's in the house we gotta party tonight
Jumpback
©1991 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider
Work yourself ragged work your fingers right down to the bone
Daily problems keep you living in the twilight zone
And in the future dead end signs is all you see
You need to stop before you lose your dignity
And jumpback and pull yourself together
Jumpback and take a deep breath
Jumpback reassess the situation
Got to relax before you work yourself to death
Jumpback
You save your pennies but your pennies they don't go to far
They want to come and take away your home your only car
Don't treat you like a person treat you like a piece of meat
In a pressure cooker its hard to take the heat
And jumpback and pull yourself together
Jumpback and take a deep breath
Jumpback reassess the situation
Got to relax before you work yourself to death
Jumpback
You used to be a happy person almost all the time
Responsibilty was never ever on your mind
Now there's so many you're feeling like you're losing
You better stop before you have a heart attack
And jumpback and pull yourself together
Jumpback and take a deep breath
Jumpback reassess the situation
Got to relax before you work yourself to death
Jumpback
You made your bed now you just don't want to lay in it
If you do nothing you'll grow prematurely gray in it
You need to break out of this everyday routine you're in
Can't let the things you can't control get underneath your skin