Can't Get Enough
©1993 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I love my baby you know that's true
There's not a damn thing for the woman that I wouldn't do
She can't get enough
She don't know when to say when
When we get done doing it she wants to do it again
She wants her cake she wants to eat it too
She wants to do the hoochie coochie the whole night through
Looks like an angel but she's a devil in disguise
I got to run for cover when she looks in my eyes
I love my baby you know that's true
There's not a damn thing for the woman that I wouldn't do
She can't get enough
She don't know when to say when
When we get done doing it she wants to do it again
She's strong as steel she's smoother than glass
She went and broke my love bone right in half
She makes me feel much better than all right
But I just can't get enough sleep at night
I love my baby you know that's true
There's not a damn thing for the woman that I wouldn't do
She can't get enough
She don't know when to say when
When we get done doing it she wants to do it again
She's like a fire burning out of control
All she wants to do is just rock and roll
She's sweet as honey form the honey comb
But she's busy as a bee when we're all alone
I love my baby you know that's true
There's not a damn thing for the woman that I wouldn't do
She can't get enough
She don't know when to say when
When we get done doing it she wants to do it again
Candyman
©1988 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by bob Schneider
I'll be the sugar in your coffee baby
I'll be your cup of tea
I'll be that cool breeze on that warm summer's evening
I'll be all that you need
Cause I know you want it
Said you got to have it
Just the way you like it
The girls like candy
And that's a fact
I'll be your candyman baby
I'll be your sugar daddy
I'll be that million in the bank for you darling
I'll be your peace of mind
I'll be a memory if that's what you want
But if you want I’ll be here there the end of time
Cause I know you want it
Said you got to have it
Just the way you like it
The girls like candy
And that's a fact
I'll be your candyman baby
I'll be your sugar daddy
I'll give you good loving like you've never known
Love you darling right down to the bone
From now on girl you're never going to be alone
I'll turn your heart into a happy home
I'll be the candle on your nightstand baby
I'll be your birthday everyday
I'll even be your favorite color sweet darling
I'll keep your blue skies from ever turning gray
Cause I know you want it
Said you got to have it
Just the way you like it
The girls like candy
And that's a fact
I'll be your candyman baby
I'll be your sugar daddy
Captain Everything
by Bob Schneider
I can take the sky and paint it blue
Then paint it black when the day is through
I can look so good I’ll make the sea turn green
And I’ll show you a tomorrow that you've never seen
I can take a memory and make it seem
Like all your yesterdays were nothing more than a dream
I can take my life and turn it all around
And still land here with my feet on the ground
I can kill an hour and never do the time
I can shoot the moon and make it stop on a dime
I can make the day break all over the dawn
And I can hang around until I’m gone
Cause I’m captain everything
And I’ll make you feel all right
Cause captain everything
Will make it all outta sight
Captain Lubritron
©1993 shockorama music pub. / lyrics by bob Schneider
I was abducted by an alien while I was walking home one day
We took a ride around the sun and then we cruised the milky way
He looked like Elvis Presley must have looked before he died
But he was quite a pleasant fellow so I thanked him for the ride
He told me of a time when battles they would not be fought
Instead of waging wars governments would just be bought
And sold to the highest bidder I said you're such a kidder
Go figure
Calling captain lubritron
Calling snizz
I was talking to an old man
Hoping that I’d understand
The only thing I learned that day
Was that he didn't give damn
I'm holding on for heaven's sake looking for some kinda break
I'll pass on all the bullshit I’ve had all I can take
I'm trying to do the right thing I’m hanging by a kite string
Walking on a tight rope seeing what the future brings
Calling captain lubritron
Calling snizz
Car Crash Suntan
lyrics by bob Schneider
Car crash suntan lotion
Put it on your skin
Sweet potato sticky bun
Breathing in the wind
Talcum powder razor leg
Open up a wound
Earthshaped hovercraft
& everyone’s marooned
Nickel-plated shirt stain
Rub it on your toes
Veiny penis day job
Suck it up your nose
Cinderella silkworm
Sliding through the air
Suicidal baby boner
Everybody’s there
A little soap and saltwater
And tangleberry soda
Automatic landslide
Got to beat my quota
Serpentillian butterbase
Spank me till I come
Tooth burger whipplescull
Yum yum yum
Stiletto pie tractor sauce
Buried to the neck
Goblins in my spinal cord
Roller derby wreck
Typhoid ropeburn
Monroe was a hotty
Quick lock lip lick
Naughty porta potty
Vanilla wedgy soak stitch
Terminally screwed
Sticks are made for kids
Trix are lays not glued
Stillwater tapered tits
Get ‘em while their young
Brogan pumperdime
Yum yum yum
Enzymatic bubble tongue
Kula de calzone
Beetle bailey tickle juice
You are my one and only
Chilly at the Crib
lyrics by bob Schneider
I'm kicking back at the chill shack
Felling kinda slack relaxed and kinda like keroauc
No I do not drive a Cadillac I got the buzzmobile
Cuz mobile makes me feel like its the lovemobile
I got the cow print sheets on my sheets
I always got the black chuck taylors covering up my feets
I got the faux pas fake black marble paint covering up the wood on my bookcase
I cleans my teeth every once in a while with tartar control backing soda toothpaste
I'm digging the laid back grooves of stan getz and ciau gilberto
I date a girl named sister all that she's kinda hip and you know she's puerto
Rican I’m freaking and speaking of tweaking
The weekend's kinda sneaking up and baby I’ll be squeaking
By I’m tweaked out and freaked out and geek by the tile grout
Its black and green and scary and the tilex fumes is kinda hairy
I got the windows open hoping I don't asphyxiate & die I guess I’m coping
I'm kinda insane oh man but I don't needs the rogaine
Can you stop the madness my badness is preplanned
I'm ready to recoil oh really no rally
I don't like to dilly I dally in the fillies you know they dry me silly
My shampoos got the aloe I don't wear no mascara
I paint my nails with manic panic galaxy gold cause I don't carea
What you think I stinka so whata you nutta
I think I had to fuck your daughter in the butta
I got the air conditioner cranked up to 70
You know sometimes it feels just like heaven g
I got the butt juice runnin down my lips
I'm hips I know what cooks I’m trips
I'm tripping and dipping and skipping along to my lou
Doing whatever it is I think I needs to oughta do
I'm pulling out the amazing spiderman bubblebath
I got the black sheets on my bed sometimes I just have to laugh
I get on the phone and now I starts to get to dialing
I'm calling up my honey I’m smoking American Spirits and smilin
I'm feeling quite refreshed and I’m felling quite nicely
I'm calling up the cutie with the booty cause she's spicy
Spicier than the chili con carne down at el arroyo
I get a hold of some girl named lenny and I calls her joyo
My freezers packed with chung king mini egg roll variety
I'm watching my weight so I can pack my ass wagon tight here in society
I'm playing it cool even though it ain't that relaxin relaxin
I'm checking my cream and finding out I ain't got no jacksons
I rolling my lazy ass out of the bed but never before 2:30
I'm washing my hair with j crew shampoo when its uh dirty
I get in my car its kinda cool it ain't no caddy
Its just a volkswagon bug its kinda snug but it's a fatty
I'm watching the cable t.v. its on discovery
I got the down filled feather blanket to keep me toasty warm and cover me
I'm eating the cinnamon raison bagels cause they's fat free
Keeps me slim and trim and looking tight and sassy
Sassy like a motherfucker like myself should look
I'm reading herman messe's steppenwolf because I heard it was a good book
I'm calling up my homeboy slowpoke just to see what's been a shaking
To find out what's up & maybe whose heart he's breaking
It's rough outside you know sometimes I’d rather chill at home
You knows to spend a little quality time alone
But cruising round the town's not really what I’m all about
I'm pretty busy really chilly back and kicking crazy jams out my house i'm nicely rearranged and fresh and rested up I’ve tested out the brain bong
Gone long ago I’m agro easy cool fool for the old school drooling on my pillow case
In case you haven't guessed oh yes I’m blessed with flavor
Savor every drop and don't change my behavior
Cause it's a real good feel good day
And things are kinda trips but there looking my way
I'm taking my own advice I’m kicking back and thinking bout the things I did
I'm drinking Mr. Pibb
It's chilly at the crib
Chilly McGillis
©2000 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
My name’s chilly mcgillis I’m my momma’s only son
My father was a stranger he was always on the run
My momma was a prostitute my heart it weighs a ton
My name’s chilly mcgillis I’m my momma’s only son
I grew up down in Detroit on the wrong side of the law
Hard times and degradation was all I ever saw
And for my thirteenth birthday I bought myself a gun
My name’s chilly mcgillis I’m my momma’s only son
The heaven’s shook the thunder crashed
The lighting lined the sky
The day I drew my first breath
I knew one day that I
Would stand before the whole world
Triumphant in the sun
My name’s chilly mcgillis I’m my momma’s only son
I went down to the bayou I killed a man down there
I threw his body in the swamp I didn't even care
I heard a voice inside me say the trouble’s just begun
My name’s chilly mcgillis I’m my momma’s only son
I went to Sacramento met a woman there one night
I took her keys and credit card and then I took her life
She tried to get away but I just could not be outrun
My name’s chilly mcgillis I’m my momma’s only son
Got arrested in El Paso got sentenced in la
Spent six years on death row and they’re killing me today
And when they pull the switch my short life will be done
My name’s chilly mcgillis I am an only son
My name’s chilly mcgillis I’m my momma’s only son
Chinatown
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
There's a mad wind blowin down the ninety nine
And the ghosts of NYC they'll be doin' just fine
When that little smith & wesson gonna light up the night
All she show'd when she heard were them cold pearly whites
None of them kisses dropped down in the hole
While the midnight sun played the starring role
Was gonna turn the tide in that black Cadillac
Next to them little white rails and cold hard facts
So when you get done dancing and the rain slows down (rain's all gone)
We'll all meet up at eddy's o'er in chinatown (in the great beyond)
Now you think you know the answer but you got it all wrong
And the days too short and the nights too long
And you wake up to find your worlds falling apart
In a fifty dollar dress over a broken heart
Dig in the dirt dance with the dogs
Roll around on the ground lost in the fog
Stomp on tomorrow like a big black drum
Pull your head back and spit at the sun
So when you get done dancing and the lights go down (sunshine's gone)
We'll all meet up at eddy's o'er in chinatown (in the great beyond)
There's a fifty on the table theirs trouble down the line
200,000 dollars in a bag they'll never find
You know you'll never see her walking through your door
& the bars about to close and the sky's about to pour
You take your last slug and stumble to the street
Pull the gun out of your pocket and you whisper trick or treat
And as you pull the trigger beyond a shadow of a doubt
You hear her whispering your name and then the lights go out
So when you get done dancing and your six feet underground (sun's all gone)
We'll all meet up at eddy's o'er in chinatown (in the great beyond)
Choclodyte
©1998 Shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
Can't stand anything
Can't stand anyone
Can't stand up without falling down
If you wanna know why
There ain't no need to even try
Everything I say is just a goddamned lie
I'm empty on the inside
Empty on the other side
Empty as a the end of this telephone line
Everybody's fucked up
And everybody's fucking with me
Everybody's got some story to tell
Another black and bloody night
Baby better hold on tight
Think I’ll eat the choclodyte
And you can all go to hell
Can't take another step
Can't place another bet
Betcha can't tell me what I want you to say
Wanna shake the world loose
Wanna really good excuse
Excuse me while I get the hell away from everything
Everybody's bone dry
Tidied up and sanitized
I'd really like to think about my options for a while
I'm heavy on the inside
Loaded up with dynamite
I'll take another double shot of anything you got
Another black and bloody night
I'm feeling like a meteorite
Think I’ll eat the choclodyte
And you can all go to hell
Chocolate Cake
lyrics by bob Schneider
Do you like
The chocolate cake
I baked for you
I didn’t bake it for you
I baked it for us
Did you like
The taste of my kisses
The ones that you’re missing now
I did not kiss you for me
I miss being us
Do you like
The lonely nights
Behind the wheel
The moment that I saw you
I knew my fate was sealed
My heart is nothing but bones
There ain’t no meat left on
Do you like
The chocolate cake
I baked for you
I baked it at 425 degrees
There’s got to be a better way around this
There’s got to be a better way around this
There’s got to be a better way around this
There’s got to be a better way around this
Christmas Down in Motortown
lyrics byBob Schneider / music by Bob Schneider & Adam Temple
The Christmas tree is burning
My gun is hot and smelly
The neighbors are calling 911
The whiskeys in my belly
The toilet’s overflowing
With Christmas cheer and hot todies
The turkey’s in the fireplace
Along with several bodies
The toaster’s in the bathtub
Where granny sings silent night
It’s Christmas down in motortown
And everything’s all right
I took too many prozacs
There are bees inside my ear
There’s acid in the eggnog
Don’t worry I can steer
I think I just saw santa
I had him in my sights
It’s Christmas down in motortown
And everything’s all right
Just give me all your money
If you move you’re dead
I know it’s for your children’s presents
But they’d prefer your love instead
I think I need a lawyer
Let’s stop and grab a bite
Its Christmas down in motortown
And everything’s all right
There are riots down in greektown
There are gunshots everywhere
Detroit’s our murder capital
But Christmas is in the air
By the time you get this postcard
I’ll probably be locked up tight
It’s Christmas down in motortown
And everything’s all right
City of Sin
©1993 shockorama music pub. / lyrics & melody by bob Schneider
Too many strangers in my bed
Too many demons running around my head
Too many nights in this town
Too many memories trying to drag me down
Take down to the city of sin
Cause I can't stand the shape I’m in
The lord above won't save my soul
Mister would you pour one more
Take me down to where the rainbows end
Take me down to the city of sin
Too many years wasted my time
Too many tears falling down the line
Too many broken hearts laying in my wake
Too many lonely nights for one man to take
Take down to the city of sin
Cause I can't stand the shape I’m in
The lord above won't save my soul
Mister would you pour one more
Take me down to where the rainbows end
Take me down to the city of sin
Too many reasons why I shouldn't stay
Too many reason why I can't stay away
Too many broken dreams lay out in the cold
Too many tales that have yet to be told
Take down to the city of sin
Cause I can't stand the shape I’m in
The lord above won't save my soul
Mister would you pour one more
This whiskey glass is my only friend
Take me down to the city of sin
Clammy Jammies
Music and lyrics by bob Schneider
I woke up this morning
With my jammies kinda clammy
Saturday’s a whammy on a Sunday morn
Oh god I’ll do my best
And I hope I pass this test
Because I won’t be drinking anymore
There’ll be no more drinking in the city
Where the girls look mighty pretty
Especially ‘round three or four
No more waking up with strangers
No more late night drunken dangers
Cause I won’t be drinking anymore
I woke up this morning
With my jammies kinda clammy
Saturday’s a whammy on a Sunday morn
Oh god I’ll do my best
And I hope I pass this test
Because I won’t be drinking anymore
No more drinking in the city
Where the cops show you no pity
And they’ll beat you till you till you’re good and sore
No more puking in the kitchen
No more late night wife a bitchin’
Cause I won’t be drinking anymore
I woke up this morning
With my jammies kinda clammy
Saturday’s a whammy on a Sunday morn
Oh god I’ll do my best
And I doubt I’ll drink much less
But I won’t be drinking anymore
C'mon Baby
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
They say love finds its own way home
But on the way it could rip your heart out and break your bones
It could turn your skin to stone
And leave you screaming for a reason while your dreaming all alone
And what about the man who fell
Fell from the blue black sky one night into the deepest darkest well
A well that never ends until you are in hell
With no way out and no one left to cancel out the spell
And falling’s all we ever do
Fall through the sky upon this earth around the sun our whole live’s through
And no one wonder’s why we always think it’s true
That everything we do is so important oh I have no clue
And love will find its own way home
Around the snakes inside your mind under the bones
And though the world might fold you in its pocket you won’t ever bend
You’re not the type my only love the only one I call my friend
And what about the girl who ran
So far away that she could never find her home again
She slipped and fell and broke her heart
And now the only thing she ever does is fall apart
And what about that starry sky
I know I’ve used that analogy a thousand times
But it has some strange effect on me
I fall into the sky as if I were falling into a deep blue sea
I want to stop the world and hide
But there’s no where to run and no place left inside
Just want to stop and catch my breath
Just want to spend a fucking second on this planet not scared to death
That’s what I say but is it true
The truth is everything is perfect and it’s not for me and you
To figure out anything at all we’ve got is time
And not much baby so just fuck the brakes and get your ass in line
I wanna make you see the light
I wanna shine as bright as Brooklyn on a Saturday’s night
I wanna scream until I drown
I wanna get so high I’ll never come back down
I know you’ll never understand
You think you know me well you think you know me well but think again
Yeah I’m insane and I’m on fire and I’m all right
Don’t get too close to me or you’ll be blinded by this holy light
Corn Flakes and Sodium Penethol
©1998 shockorama music pub.
I am corn flakes and sodium penethol
And little yellow snakes
And billion year old sun
The dust under your nails
I am the kid from unicef
The old widow down the block
The dead rotting meat underneath the stone
The dead rotting meat underneath the stone
The air that you breathe
The light on your skin
The time you forgot everything
That will happen tomorrow
I am Venus and medusa embracing their lovers
The forgotten fart underneath the covers
The cycle of the seasons
The arc of a stone
The manic depressive abandoned and alone
The air that you breathe
The light on your skin
The time you forgot everything
That will happen tomorrow
I’m the marijuana seed that couldn’t be found
The scream in your head when you can’t make a sound
The trees in the woods that dance through the air
Whenever they feel they’re sure you’re not there
The air that you breathe
The light on your skin
The time you forgot everything
That will happen tomorrow
I’m the Mongoloid inside the incestuous womb
The invisible hand on your back in the tomb
I’m the candle that burns at both ends when you’re gone
The never-ending line at the convenience store
A helpful hint a timesaving tip
A warm wet tongue caressing your lips
Cornbread
lyrics & melody by Bob Schneider / music by The Scabs
Mama got the cornbread
Daddy got the sauce
Daddy wear the pants
But mamma she’s the boss
Daddy be up playing with the black cat bone
Leaving poor mama at home all alone
Daddy didn’t know it but ol' mama had a plan
She didn’t take no shit she got a backdoor man
Backdoor lover come around at night
When mama’s daddy out drinking make her feel allright
Giving mama somethin her old daddy never could
Twelve long inches of that Hollywood
Cows
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
So you say you got your mind made up
But could change it if you wanted
And you say that that will never happen
Yeah I’ve heard it all before my friend
And you’re living with a 1,000 demons
And you’re haunted by a 1,000 ghosts
And you say that no one understand you
And you’re feeling like an alien
But I believe you might change your song
The day the cows come stumbling home
If you spend your whole life running
It’ll be a long time coming
Before you see the light
And you say that you’re the underdog
And that you never had a chance
And this life is making you crazy
And your just living it the best you can
And your stories hardly ever change
And your situation goes from bad to strange
And you think that everyone’s deranged
And you find yourself in constant danger
And from the things you say I must assume
That your future’s looking doomy and gloomy
But you still don’t want to change your tune
And let the seeds of love in your heart bloom
Crackhead
lyrics by Bob Schneider
You’re totally cracked and baby that’s a fact
You need to get back on the right track
You got things to do but they never get done
You know you should be working but it’s too much fun
Getting stoned to the bone
Chilling at your home
It’s mostly pops and buzzes in your dome
Cause you’re a crackhead
You never make it to class
You’re a crackhead
You know you’ll never pass
You’re a crackhead
You say your boss’s a jerk
But you’re a crackhead
You never make it to work
They call me el clemente and it tickles my toes
For breakfast I like a warm shot of the jos...
... E cuervo tequila and maybe a beer
Because drinking’s not a hobby it’s a career
I do a wreck check baby then I’m ready to go
Singing one potato two potato three potato four
And I’d do anything for you you know that that’s the truth
I only I could remember what it was I’s supposed to do
But I’m a crackhead
My head hurts like a bitch
I’m a crackhead
I know that I’ll never switch
‘cause I’m a crackhead
Jangly glass in my brain
I’m a crackhead
And I’m going insane
‘cause I’m a crackhead
I wear my boots to bed
I’m a crackhead
I thought that’s what you said
I’m a crackhead
But everything’s cool
‘cause I’m a crackhead
You’ve been gone the whole damn day
Where you’ve gone you would not say
Tell me baby what am I to do
I’m going crazy over you
You’re out all night and you don’t come home
You leave me here baby all alone
Tell me baby what am I to do
I’m going crazy over you
What a fool I have been
Opened my heart and let you in
Now my heart’s been torn in two
I’m going crazy over you
I won’t tear my heart out in the pouring rain
You won’t here me crying you won’t feel this pain
I won’t hold my breath till the sun turns blue
I’m going crazy over you
You’re out all night with your friends
Where the party never ends
Tell me baby what am I to do
I’m going crazy over you
Crib de Amour
lyrics by Bob Schneider
You need a little something
Baby that’s the truth
No one can tell you that
You haven’t got your youth
But with no money and no power
To get where you belong
Just have a little faith
You’ve got to be strong
Now schnizz is the master of love
And I am his second in command
And tonight one of us
Is going to be your man
Because the crib de amour is open tonight
It’s business as usual by candlelight
The fireplace is burning
Come underneath the covers
I will be your undercover lover
With some smooth talking sailor boys
You’ll not find the love that you desire
You need a little more than the usual
Someone who can light your fire
The question we don’t ask is
Do you have the money
Because we always have the time
And we can be quite funny
So if you want to have
A little lovin’ honey
Come over to the crib
Because we’ve got it running
Because the crib de amour is open tonight
It’s business as usual by candlelight
Don’t worry honey because we will not bite
The crib de amour is open
Open tonight
Open toniyite